This may be the most unique episode I’ve ever done. I’m going to read my mother’s last letter to me. It’s joyful, inspiring, and I think meant for everyone. I’m thrilled to share it with you.
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Listen For
- 2:34 – Where can you find tools for deeper intimacy and connection?
- 5:46 – How can you find your direction by trusting your intuition?
- 7:26 – Why is it essential to face your deepest fears?
- 8:44 – How can you release the weight of guilt in relationships?
- 8:18 – What is a more vibrant way to perceive death?
- 8:44 – How can you release the weight of guilt in relationships?
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My Mother’s Last Letter To Me
This may be the most unique Deeper Dating episode I’ve ever done. I am going to read to you my mother’s last letter to me, which is so inspiring and so amazing. I’m so happy to share it with you because it’s filled with wisdom. Stay tuned to this episode of the Deeper Dating® Podcast.
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My Mother’s Inspiring Last Letter
Hello everybody, and welcome to the Deeper Dating® Podcast. I’m Ken Page. I am your host. I am the founder of Deeper Dating and Deeper For Good, which you are going to be getting to hear about, and the author of the bestselling book, Deeper Dating. I am going to be talking about something very different. I am going to read you the last letter that my mom ever gave me. My mom was an amazing Holocaust survivor, street artist, activist, full-of-joy human being.
Her work is in books and museums and movies and documentaries, and she was really an amazing person. She left me a letter that I want to read to you because it has such wisdom in it. First, let me just say that in this episode and every episode of Deeper Dating podcast, I am going to share with you the tools and the insights that I think can most powerfully help you find real, beautiful love and keep it alive and flourishing, because the skills of dating are the skills of intimacy, and those are the greatest skills of all.
If you want to learn more about the deeper dating path to intimacy, or Deeper For Good, a new app that lets you meet people who also want to make a difference in the world. Just go to DeeperDatingPodcast.com or DeeperForGood.com. At DeeperDatingPodcast.com, you will see transcripts of all of my 230-something episodes, and you will also be able to sign up for my mailing list and get a free eBook. It is called the 5 Keys to Deeper Intimacy, and it is points that have gone viral on Psychology Today and elsewhere. Enough said on those accounts.
My mom passed away on February 6th at 96 years old. My family, we were all surprised because we expected to grieve more, and we were not grieving like we thought we should be. I was at my mom’s house with my sister. She and I were just talking about this odd thing, and we both decided it was because her vibrant aliveness was still so inside of us. We just felt she’s still here. We spent the day looking through things in the house. We were getting ready to leave, and I remembered that our wonderful assistant Dory had told us that there were letters for us.
My mom passed away on February 6 at 96 years old. What surprised my family most was that we weren’t grieving the way we expected—we thought the sadness would be much heavier. Share on XI just thought they were bills or something. It was an envelope that said Kenny and another envelope that said Joanie, my sister’s name. We opened up the envelopes, and this is mine. Do not worry about if you cannot see it, but if you are looking at this on YouTube, it is all in her own handwriting. She wrote the same thing to both of us, but this happens to be a really old crinkly paper. My guess is she wrote this 40 or 50 years ago. That would be my guess. 30 years ago, something like, a long, long time ago. It is amazing. It is amazing and beautiful. I want to read it to you because it is so beautiful and so filled with wisdom. That is this episode. I am going to read you this amazing letter. You ready? Here goes.
Letting Her Feet Decide The Path
“When I was a child, I used to play a game. I would let my mind tune into a vast quiet, decide where I wanted to go, and then let my feet decide in which way to get there. I would stop for traffic and obstacles, but otherwise I found that my feet would follow definite patterns, paths all their own. If I walked in that fashion, my mind had to be free of clutter, or it did not work. It became a way of dealing when things became too heavy to carry. I would go to the beach, or the woods, or a window, and sit until my thoughts uncluttered. I waited for answers. They always came.”
“There were only answers to what I wanted at the end of the road. When I knew what I really wanted as my destination, the things I had to do in order to get there were never apparent in sequence. One by one, they appeared. Each one defined only when the one preceding it had been done correctly. For years, I had known that I would have to write a will which did not deal with tangible possessions.”
Mother’s Last Letter: When I knew what I really wanted as my destination, the things I had to do in order to get there were never apparent in sequence. One by one, they appeared. Each one was defined only when the one preceding it had been done correctly.
“The moment is now. I know what I need to say. I know how to say it. Now I also know the direction. It is this; that each of us can work out a pattern for our immortality. We can only ask it and not demand it, and everyone will interpret differently. Let me define my needs as clearly as I can. I do not know quite how to say it, so I will let my feet drift into whatever direction they need to walk in, in order to lead you there.”
It’s emotional to me. She is a Holocaust survivor. She was a hidden child in Vienna. “I used to carry so much fear in me. Fear of people. Fear of doing or saying the wrong things. Above all, the horror of the hate in people’s minds and what they could do to me and to the people I loved. Step by step, I have walked into those fears and faced them. I knew it was a negation of the life I was allowed to live if I did not let go of them. Finally, I learned how to.”
The Importance Of Not Carrying Guilt And Learning To Live
“I love living so. There are times when the joy of it bursts out of me like a bubble. Times when the glory of something I see or hear makes me feel as if I had no boundaries, and as if I belong to the vastness of clouds and oceans, and inside everyone I see. This is the part of me that I would like to will to you. When I am no longer in my body, do not place my spirit mentally into the grave. Do not see me lying in a grave when you think of me.”
Mother’s Last Letter: I love living deeply. Sometimes the joy bursts out of me like a bubble—the beauty of what I see or hear makes me feel boundless, connected to the clouds, oceans, and everyone around me. This is the part of me I’d like to leave to you.
“I will not be heavy earth. I will not end. There are things that I know and cannot explain. Do not carry guilt or thoughts of what might have been. They will weigh me down. I love you without guilt, without confusion, for the incredible miracle that you are. The things that we did to cause each other pain are only part of learning to live within our short lifespan. To waste my time with it would be like activating a toothache just to verify its existence. Let us cure it instead by working it out. In person, if we have the gift of life. In thought, if one of us has lost that gift. Carrying guilt is not necessary for me. Please do not make it necessary for you. What a wonderful life you give me. Thank you.”
That is my mom’s amazing letter, and I just thought I would share it with you because it is so filled with wisdom and joy and clarity about dying and passing on and relationships. Thank you. This is going to be a short episode, but it is a letter that I really wanted to share with you. I thank you so much for being my audience. Thank you for listening to my work. If this had meaning to you, I would love to hear your thoughts and reflections. Please let me know in the comments. Thank you all, and I will see you at Deeper For Good and DeeperDatingPodcast.com.
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